My Most Embarrassing Moment
I went to a private party Saturday night at a popular club here in D.C. When you walked into the main room there were about 3 stairs to walk down to get onto the dance floor and into the main bar area. On the way down the tip of my left boot got caught in my right pant leg. When I tripped my arms went straight out to the sides and I just knew I was about to make an unforgettable entrance into this party. But I saved it. I have no idea how, but I did. There were so many people there and everyone would have been able to see my flying leap down the stairs had someone gracious and powerful not spared me what was working up to being the most embarrassing moment of my life.
But since I didn't get a new most embarrassing moment, I'll tell you about the reigning one. I used to be a part of a youth ministry that actually did some pretty good things in the community. We organized a clothing drive at RFK Stadium (the real home of the Redskins) on Saturday afternoon. It was a pretty big deal. A local radio station came out and broadcast from the event. Many of the people in the community came out and got some really nice things for absolutely free. (I can't tell you how hard it was to resist setting a couple of designer outfits with the tags still on aside for myself. I resisted. For the most part.)
Anyway, my job was to secure the venue. To do so I needed to meet with the head of the facilities department to request a permit to have the events on the grounds. The meeting had been scheduled for weeks and this was the most significant "meeting" I had ever really had in my 21 or so years. It was in the heat of July, so I was careful to pick the right outfit and make sure my hair was just right and everything else in place before I left. My bangs were not cooperating, so I threw one roller in them to make sure that by the time of the meeting every hair fell just perfectly.
I got to the stadium and met with Mr. Brown. Everything went splendidly. He was very supportive of our event and gladly passed me a contract to sign. We hammered out all of the details regarding times, power supply, permits, etc. He was a really nice guy. We joked about quite a few things (I can't remember what now) and then he walked me to my car. I was supposed to call him back with one detail I couldn't answer during the meeting, so I assured him that I'd get back to him before close of business.
I got in the car and breathed a sigh of relief, because this event all hinged on this permit. This guy could make or break our event and it was up to me to convince him to let these kids to put on their "do-gooder" production in the stadium parking lot. I managed and I was both proud and relieved. When I got home I ran upstairs to my bedroom and picked up the phone to call my boyfriend at the time (ministry director and yes, the ex) to tell him the good news. While I was talking to him something in the mirror caught my eye. Something about my reflection that was just not right. In fact, it was yellow. Bright yellow. A bright yellow HAIR ROLLER. The damn roller was still in my hair. I had completely forgotten to take it out so that the bangs could fall just right. I wanted to die!!!!
What was worse was that I still needed to call Mr. Brown back. I think he called me before I could get up the nerve to call him. We settled whatever the remaining issue was and.... oh, I remember what we were joking about now... We were joking about him wanting to meet a representative from our organization face to face because he has had too many "ghetto" events and he wasn't looking forward to another one. Well, when we finished our business I asked him how and why he didn't bother to mention that I had a FREAKING ROLLER in my hair, especially with all the conversation about ghetto-ness!! He laughed and said that he thought it was cute. I did not!! I'm so glad he had a sense of humor, but I was mortified.
I've yet to top that one.
Wanna share embarrassing moments?
16 comments:
Sorry, laughing WAYYY too hard! Wait... wait... gotta catch my breath. I didn't think you could top the falling out of the bus and peeing on yourself incident, but THIS is hilarious!
I'll get back to you with my embarrassing moment. I don't think I can beat this one though. Maybe.
I had a similar one to your curler incident at my daugher's wedding. I had broken my ankle a month or so before and was newly out of my cast, but had to wear a support boot still. For the wedding, I got special dispensation from my doctor to wear just hose and heels with my long dress.
My daughter was married in a very elegant art deco hotel in Los Angeles, and I spent much of the wedding day doing errands for her. I was wearing a thick ace bandage to give my hurt ankle support.
I got dressed and put on the ace bandage over my stocking, intending to take it off right before making my entrance. With one thing and another, of course I forgot to take it off at all. I didn't realize this until after the reception, and all the photos with me in them show this huge lumpy thing encasing my leg whenever the gown moved.
I've told myself that nobody really notices the bride's mom anyway, especially since my daughter was a totally gorgeous bride. But I looked just like my own grandmother with her heavy stockings rolled over her fat legs. (No, I don't have fat legs, at least.) But still...
I have embarrassed myself in far more serious ways my whole life. That is just the first one that came to mind.
That is hilarious. Sounds like something I would do.
@ Katrice
Glad you find me so .... entertaining!!
But you have to cough up one of your own. It's the RULES!!!
@ Heart
That's terrible. Weddings and photographers cost too much for that to happen. LOL I'd love to hear the others.
@ Debbie
I'm glad I'm not alone.
Out with the girls, talking smack in the car about how cute I was and how Mr. Wonderful was waiting to meet me.
As soon as I sat down, handsome dude asked me what I wanted to drink. I ordered an "Iced Tea" having heard it was the hip thing to drink back then.
Handsome dude came back with the drink, set it down and said, "That'll be $8.00". He was the waiter and my girlfriends crack on me to this day!
OMG you poor thing! LOL!
OK I was in the 7th grade and I had on jeans and a shirt, tucked in...in the 80's everything was SKIN tight and since the private school I went to did not require a uniform...ANYWAY...My Mother, who had me on a diet from age 10, had me on that Cabbagge soup diet?!?! remember where you only eat Cabbagge soup for days on end? You all know
You all know it...Cabbagge is NOT the stomach or Digetive tracts friends.....I could feel the build up in my gut and I just knew if I was still that I could get to the bathroom...
No such luck the red head jack hole whole teased me to death in front of me smacked my pencil onto the floor. Since we all were in the middle of a "test" I HAD to lean over to get it...when I did...RRRRRRIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP
I have never seen EYEs as wide as my teacher....I swear it was SO loud that the WHOLE school could hear!
Mortified...
To this day I am STILL mortified...
In a borrowed evening gown at an AIDS benefit with a new boyfriend. He was singing at the event with his church choir and he walked me to my seat where I was to wait for him to join me after he performed. During intermission i decide to go get a soda. As I was walking down the stairs of the auditorium, my heel caught on the carpet and I tripped a little. I caught myself, but no less than 2 steps later I tripped again and fell to my knees. It was intermission so there were not a lot of people in the room. Before I can manage to pick myself up, a guy on the other other side of the room sees me and runs over to me screaming "Oh my God, are you okay??" At which point the few remaining people in the auditorium rush over to help me up. Needless to say i spent the rest of the night in the hall waiting for my boyfriend because I was too embarrassed to go back to my seat.
1 year later, I meet a new guy and I was walking across the street to meet a friend thinking about my new guy when I tripped over one of those things on the ground in the parking lot that lets you know when your car is in the space (not sure what they are called) I fall flat on my face and scrape my arm and before I can get up, 3 cars stop in the middle of the street (major street in DC) holding up traffic as the occupants come to pray over me. I did what any sane person would do, I laid there and pretended I was more hurt than I really was until they stopped praying.
Three years and yet another boyfriend later, I made us a lovely breakast and as we were sitting down to eat, I reached for a biscuit and then plopped down in my chair, i miss half the chair, and the half I land on breaks. He laughs hysterically and tells me it would not be so funny if I had not been reaching for a biscuit at the time. I still have a scar on my arm rom this incident.
Hmm...boyfriends--I think I see a pattern here!
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ok, THAT is good, Lexi! You could've just passed it off as a fashion statement too, yanno.
I'll have to think of a good one on me and post it on my blog sometime soon. Shouldn't be hard. ;)
Oh my LORD! Thank you all so much. I needed these laughs.
@ Jali
But you looked good, though? That's all that matters. Was handsome man wearing a name tag? LOL
@ Superstar
Oh NO!!! I am mortified for you. Listen, I'm not one to agonize over gas that needs to be released. I'm usually improper enough to just let it rip and pray that it's not too offensive. The WORST is when you think you're letting a quiet one out and it ends up louder than a sonic boom. TMI ALERT: Like when you're sitting wrong in a chair and it sneaks up to the top of your crack and sounds like firecrackers exploding in the middle of your back. Or is that just me?
Too funny. Stay away from cabbage soup. I'm sure that's some sort of child abuse.
@ Shellie
I'm dying here!!! What the HELL is with you always FALLING???? I can see you now on your hands and knees just like every time you got out of my dad's car.
But the thing that shocked me the most was that you had a boyfriend who went to church. When did THAT happen? LOL
Welcome back, Mama! When are you gonna return a girl's message?
@ Andy
Stop laughing at me!!! There was no passing it off. The deed was done and over before I noticed.
Can't wait for yours. Can't you just play by the rules? You and Katrice. I tell you.
How is a curler more embarrassing than peeing on yourself?
Here's my moment.
@ ~m~
Great question! I'm just weird like that, I guess.
I was 9-11ish when I fell off the bus and peed on myself. I guess this was worst because I was putting on my best adult effort to be professional. :-)
whooiiiiii,. Oh lordy that's so funny. hehe.
I was just in DC (last week). I just love the DC area.
I have too many embarrassing momemnts. One I still can remember vividly ...
I was working at Dillard's in my humble little college town in Texas. I had gone to McDonalds in the food court to get a cheeseburger for lunch because it must have been payday at one of my jobs...I was working three. Well, that cheeseburger must have been a little old or something because my stomach did not like it and wanted it out immediately after it had gone in. I worked in customer service and there was no one to relieve me until about 6 so I had to just wait it out. (I do not poop in public...well at that time I wouldn't) I stood in the front, waiting; gripping the counter and trying not to double over in pain when the moments hit me. Finally, Sally, the night shift got there and I ran to my little Geo Metro and started him up so I could get home. At the time I lived about 15 minutes from my job. I drove and prayed because I knew I was at my limit but I knew He would see me through until I got home. As I pulled into the driveway, I decided to try and expel some gas to relieve some of the pain. Well, it was much more that gas that was waiting to be released. I threw out that dress, those stocking, the panties and shoes immediately and got in the shower and cried. My roommate kept banging on the door asking me what had happened. To this day I am sure she probably thinks I was assaulted or something. I was too embarrassed to say, "hey, I JUST pooped on myself in my car."
@ gela
You were supposed to let me know when you were coming!!
@ kmf
You need to read Fresh's post on your very same issue. I think it was Friday. What I don't get is what you guys were crying about?? Maybe I'm just silly, but I would have laughed my ass off...and pooped even more. I know I laughed the whole time I was wiping out the bathroom at that gas station when I was in a similar situation.
Okay, there are definitely more embarrassing ones, but I can't bring a coherent story to mind just yet. So here's one from long ago...
I was about 10 years old and had just sat through one of those dreaded Sunday evening church services I grew up on. Finally, the pastor asked everyone to stand and say something or other to your neighbor. I stood up with my friends, and one of them accused me of sleeping during church. Indignant, I replied, "I stayed awake the whole time!" But to my shock, the whole congregation had already gone quiet and the pastor was milliseconds from saying the benediction. I had yelled it and everyone heard me, including the pastor who was giving me this strange look. I wanted to die.
I have no idea what I was crying about...jus tthe embarrassment I guess. Plus the fact that I freaking had dookie in my drawers!! LOL. That was the height of my tornado of embarrassment and it was about to stop twirling and drop me all the way back down...
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