Self-Hatred

I have been thinking about self-hatred a lot for a few weeks and I’d love to hear your thoughts about it. If you’ve been following this blog at all you can imagine that my musings have stemmed from the dialogue generated by my post Brothers (in the other sense of the word) in which I kick around the idea of inter-racial dating.

The comments evoked by that post have really caused me to want to dig deeper into an examination of my perspectives on race on tons of levels. And, there seems to be no more logical place to start than an examination of my thoughts about my own. Let me give you some background.

By any reasonable persons phenotypic assessment of me, I am Black. Call me African-American if you like, but that’s where things start to get problematic for me. I contain healthy doses of Black, Irish and Native American. And while I can give you the names of my Irish and Native American ancestors, I’d have a far tougher time distilling out the “pure” Blacks, or Africans, “pure” African Americans (if ever there were an oxymoron). I’ve always been frustrated by that term because it says so little about who we really are as a people, or better yet as peoples, and still there are so many stereotypes that resonate with its utterance. I prefer Black. That's me.

Despite anyone else’s assessment of me, I can honestly say that I am at a place in my life where I love me. I believe I am beautiful. I wouldn’t trade my hips, hair, breasts, lips, thighs or nose for anyone’s (though I am committed to shedding these pounds I’ve packed on over the last few years….another post all together). I love being a Black woman. I love the rhythm of our music, the soul in our essence, the bond that makes the only two Black people in a room talk to each other like they’ve grown up together. I love our beauty, our diversity, our tremendous determination to survive…and more than survive, to thrive. I love that Black female preemies have the highest survival rate of any premature babies. We’re fighters. We’re survivors. And I love that.

I hate that there are aspects of our history and of our very real present that have forced us into survival mode. I fear that much our potential as a people and as individuals has been squandered because we’ve learned to live in survival mode and we think it’s normal, we think it’s all there is. I hate seeing our people living life on the defensive, carrying chips on our shoulders that weigh us down, hold us back. I grieve for those of us who have no other option than survival. I am frustrated with those who choose not to exhaust all available options to thrive.

And it’s precisely this frustration that has me thinking about self-hatred. So, I looked it up and here’s what I found. The quote is from Wikipedia, “the encyclopedia anyone can edit”. But I thought, what better definition than the one that resonates with the culture. Here’s what I found. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

You may be visiting this blog and identify as something other than Black. Please don’t hesitate to post your comments. You are safe here. Your voice is welcome.

Self-hatred literally refers to an extreme dislike of oneself, or being angry at oneself. The term is also used to designate a dislike or hatred of a group to which one belongs. For instance, 'ethnic self-hatred' is the extreme dislike of one's ethnic group. Accusations of self-hatred are often used as an ad hominem attack.

The term 'self-hatred' is used infrequently by psychologists and psychiatrists, who would usually describe people who hate themselves as 'persons with low self-esteem'. Some people think that self-hatred and shame are important factors in some or many mental disorders, especially disorders that involve a perceived defect of oneself (e.g. body dysmorphic disorder). "Ethnic self-hatred" is considered by some people as being a cultural issue, to which psychological theories have limited relevance.

Black self-hatred
Black self-hatred is generally defined as a Black person who hates his Black racial identity and may try to distance himself from this identity. Like Jewish self-hate, there is some disagreement as to what it means to be Black. Some Black people feel that those who demonstrate a preference for clothing styles, music choices, etc. that have been predominantly associated with white culture are self-hating. Thus for them being Black is more just one’s skin color. Some, such as journalist John Carlson, have suggested that gangsta rap is a form of Black Self-hatred. In his view, when Black rappers portray Black women as "bitches" and "whores" and Black men as "worthy of respect only in relation to their capacity to kill or maim others" they are essentially expressing a form of self-hate with basically buying into and propagating, through their music, racist stereotypes about Black people. This term has been used by Black supremacist groups to defend racism.
Black self hatred can show itself in the form of embarassment or shame in those things that are culturally identified with African heritage. It is ingrained in subtle ways from childhood. A person becomes reluctant to share or perpetuate activities or traditions that have in the past cause them pain. They come to hate those things and in extention themselves.

What do you guys think? What is self-hatred? What does it look like in any form? How easy is it to spot in others? In ourselves?

Les deseo Self-Love!

Lexi