Confession of a Guilty Pleasure
My guilty pleasure has become somewhat of a compulsion. But damn, it brings me so much joy. What is this pleasure, you ask. No, it doesn’t take double A batteries, but it does involve sex. Actually it involves the sex book section of Border’s, my favorite store in the world (well, next to Pier One I suppose). I digress.
I absolutely love the sex book section of Border’s. I discovered my fascination with it by accident, but it’s almost a compulsion now, but not for the reasons you’re thinking. See, there’s always a man in that section. And, I discovered that men get very, very uncomfortable when a woman walks into, I don’t know, the den of their secret sin? Well, now I can’t resist doing it for kicks. I walk into the sex book section, find the inevitable guy, stand uncomfortably close to him, start looking intently for absolutely nothing (ok, maybe not exactly nothing) and wait for the inevitable squirming to start. Right when he’s sufficiently annoyed and hoping like hell that he’s invisible, I remind him that he’s not by asking him a question. Today it was, “Are these alpha by author?” As usual, this one got flustered, slammed his book shut, threw it back on the shelf and walked off. It was the best!!
Americans are too uptight about sex. What’s the big deal? So, you enjoy reading about sex. I’d be more embarrassed to get caught in the needlepoint section.
It was so much fun. If you’re not shy and blushy about sex, you should try it sometimes. The laughs will turn a grey sky blue, any day!
P.S.
Upon re-reading I realized that you might think I was suggesting trying sex if you aren't shy and blushy about it. I wasn't. Try my pleasure.
17 comments:
You are so full of mischief! You take such great pleasure in torturing men. LOL
[rubbing hands together and hunching over impishly] Heheheeeeee!
[kwesi sighs deeply]
THAT WAS YOU?
Ok... so this post confirms my contention that women are inherently evil by nature. And I don't mean that in a bad way.
I both fear and respect that quality.
;-)
Alexis, darling, I absolutely love you! You crack me up like nobody's business! I'm totally gonna try that! I'm sure they will probably be alot more flustered by me, considering I'm a 19-year old girl! I'll let you know how it goes! Love you!
shanada <3
Lex, you're just so funny, that was hilarious. You're so wicked. lol. I'm dying to try it next. Will have to be when I'm in the States later this year, since they really don't have bookstores with sex section here.
Hilarious!! I'm sure I'll try it if I can kkep a straight face.
What a great way to entertain yourself. Pictured it and actually giggled. I agree too - they are too hung up about sex and any kind of guilty pleasure actually.
Which Borders has a sex book section...just let me know and I am there! I am a big fan of Zane --or did you mean intruction books and not erotica? Am I telling too much?!?!?!?
@ Kwesi
WHAT??? You know it's funny.
@ Andy
Yep. Gotcha!! Evil? Who? No, not evil. Resourceful.
@ Tink
Ooops. I forgot you read this. LOL. No, you know I'm kidding, there's no shame in m game. I can't wait to hear your story.
@ Gela
What's the problem with those Jamaicans? Tell them to get with it. Where are you going when you visit the States?
@ Dawn
It really was a necessary evil. I was in a horrible mood that day because I got some awful news, (more consequences of being married to an irresponsible ass) and needed comic relief. This works every time!
@ LaShawn
I can NOT imagine you keeping a straight face, but give it a shot. Doesn't really matter if you're laughing though--they never make eye contact. ROFL.
@ Shellie
You OBVIOUSLY don't frequent Border's and as an avid reader, you should be ashamed. Border's has everything. Zane was actually at the Border's in Silver Spring (the site of my adventures) the very day I did my dirt signing her new book. It was pure coincidence.
Oh, I mean...who's Zane?
Seriously, I've never read her, but on my trip I read The Almond by Nedjema. I found it while torturing that guy. This usually isn't my style, but it was too facinating to leave on the shelf. It's an autobiographical account of the sexual awakening of an observant Muslim woman. It explores the erotic undercurrents of this seemingly puritanical society. Absolutely facinating.
This is one for a book club. Religion and tradition meet female sexuality. I loved it. There are probably some posts coming from that one. Church folks get ready...or stop reading my blog. News flash: Women like sex too!!!!!!!! A LOT!!
...And I'm one of them!!!
Funny, funny post! I love that you do this. Men who are embarrassed by your presence there probably feel on a deep level that sex is their private province, despite a staggering amount of proof to the contrary since Adam & Eve.
I hope you never stop invading their bubble.
It reminded me of when I disrupted a Men's Bar in NYC when I was younger. It was delicious. (I think I mentioned it in one of my posts.) You're a girl after my heart.
Zane is wild Lex! I mean wild and kinky!!! I read one of her books by accident last year. I think I might be in Orlando and DC later this year.
I shall do this....LOL. I need the comic relief.
You're evil!
Good for you!
I feel like I should come up with great ?s for you to use, although you mean for me to do it my damn self.
You could say to yourself: "Damn, which book did Grandma want?"
@ Macarena
Please write questions for me. I'm definitely gonna use the granny one. My granny might really want me to pick up something for her, actually.
I should have spelled that e-vil, the good kind.
Now I'll rub my hands together, cackle, and compile ?s.
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