More Thoughts from Vacation

Our second stop was Dallas. Tania's brothers and some other family members live there. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, let me let you take a look at these:




Now, I don't know about real estate in your neck of the woods, but where I live, these are half a million dollar homes. Easily. These guys are paying a mortgage on these homes that is the same as the rent I am paying for a one bedroom apartment with no bells or whistles. And, since half of Texas is Spanish-speaking... you know where I'm going with this, right? I SO want to move to Dallas when this lease is up. I spent some time thinking through why this is so appealing to me while on the trip and I'll paste some of those thoughts here in a second.

But first a little background. I have posted previously how overwhelmed I feel by life as a single-again. The DC area is not friendly for someone living alone, no matter how much money you make. I have some irons in the fire for some freelance work, that should supplement my income sufficiently to keep my head above water, but that means I'll be working 6 days a week to survive. I don't want to live like this.

I know that relocating to a more affordable area means that I need to consider that I may not make as much money. But come on! Do you see the price of these homes?? I want to be 35 and have something to show for a degree and a half, interpreter certification, 7 years of marriage and gainful employment! I've got goose-eggs right now.

I just took a looked at my journal entry on the topic, and I'd have to edit out too much of stuff I'm not ready to discuss in this forum, so I'll give you the abrigded version:

August 10, 2006

12:28pm

Dallas, TX

It’s incredibly hard to come face to face with normal. I’m crying, but I’m not sad. I’m hopeful. I’ve just spent time with Tania's uncle. He’s a truck driver. He has a nice home and nice family and although I know it’s impossible to make a full assessment after only a few hours, he is a respectable man who provides for his family and obviously loves his wife. Now, some other interactions we’ve had down here may have solidified a little my inclination that all are crazy and good for nothing, but right now I am refreshed...

...Why does hope make me cry? I wonder why in moments of extreme hope I break down. Why does hope scare me? I believe in the possibility, but do I believe it for me? Today I think I do.

Let me explain those thoughts a little. Have you ever come face to face with what you want, only to realize how far from what you want what you had really was? That was the moment I found myself captured by. Suddenly all the dysfunction and insanity seemed like dysfunction and insanity. The noise was silenced and I heard calm. I heard normal, peace. I didn't hear perfection, but I heard a calling to sanity. I don't know if I'm explaining myself well at all. I just know that I was overwhelmed by hope in this instant. And, I still am.

This trip affected me. More than I expected. If you want more, read the post and comments on Tania's blog about the trip.

I'm going to do some work.