Sunday, September 24, 2006

I was Tagged: Secrets Meme

I was tagged by Andy for this "Secrets" meme. I'm supposed to reveal 10 secrets about myself and then tag 2 other bloggers.

Without further ado...

1. I hated bathing when I was about 9 or 10. So, at bath time I would run a bath and sit on the side of the tub fully clothed and swish my washcloth back and forth to make it sound convincing. Then, I'd take my clothes off, wrap up in my towel and go to my bedroom to put on fresh, clean jammies. This happened every night. I may have acutally bathed once a week.

2. Heartissanfrancisco shared the "peeing like a boy" secret. I did this too, but it doesn't count since I'm copying. So, I'll share another peeing secret. The first time I decided to shave my nether regions completely bald, I had no clue the effects this would have on public bathroom use. The first time I tried to pee hairless while hovering over a public toilet pee went everywhere, down my legs, all over the toilet seat and soaked the back of the waistband of my pants. I was laughing so hard I couldn't stop, so I had to just sit on the toilet to finish since I couldn't stop the flow. I did my best to dry off and absorb the pee from my pants, but I had to walk around Miss Pissy Pants for the rest of the day.

3. I got caught in the process of convincing Ex (then boyfriend) to go skinny-dipping. We were parked on the side of a road near a pier. We went to sit on the rocks and I convinced him that we should skinny dip. We got our shoes off and he was going for his pants when a police car pulled up shining his flashlight in our faces. He warned us that the "park" closed at sundown and that we should go. I thought it was hilarious. He was scared to death and we spent the rest of the ride home deciding who we would have called to bail us out of jail if we'd been arrested. We decided on my parents. They would have thought it was funny.

3.1 There are some things about him I actually miss, but they are few.

4. I was brought home in a police car for skipping out on a summer enrichment program when I was 12.

5. I received an underserved A for a class I took in graduate school. I never wrote the paper upon which said grade was based. The professor agreed to not give me an incomplete as long as I faxed him the paper when I finished it. Well...he went back to Mexico, I've been otherwise preoccupied with life...and I still haven't done it. This was in 2003.

6. I have a very hard time sticking with things. I've tried to master the piano, guitar, bowling, roller skating, tennis, belly dancing, bodybuilding, German, Korean, even anorexia. I get distracted by the next thing to come along. Salsa dancing is the one thing I've stuck with the longest. The longest I've stayed at one job is 2 years and that's because I was under contract. I'm told it's typical of a Gemini.

7. I hope I never grow up to the point of taking life too seriously.

8. I am very spoiled by both of my parents. That's no secret to those who know me, but I am 33 and have never seen my cell phone bill. I've been on the same cell phone plan with mom and dad since 1991.

9. My weekly allowance started at $20/week. By the time I left home (when I married) it was up to $120/week. Yes, I had a full-time job. Yes, I was 25. Yes, I know this is pathetic. And, yes, you would have taken it too if offered!!

10. I used to think "trifling" was pronounced "triflent", and I used to call people triflent. I was 12!!

Bonus: I only floss about twice every two weeks. That's about how long it takes for me to realize that once again, I haven't stuck with something I set out to do and start over. It fizzles out again after a couple of days and in two weeks I'm back to feverishly making up for lost time for two more days and then...

OK. That's it.

I tag Gela and ~Macarena~.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

This post was great. I literally snorted while laughing at your bald nether region pee story. Hilarious.

Anonymous said...

You actually floss??? And I remember the police car thng--I believe it was a cooking class that you were supposed to be attending that summer. I also believe that this is what prompted your Dad to call my Dad about a certain older guy that kept claling both our houses, although he really only called me to get me to call you for him!! Man we were terrible girls!

Lex said...

@ Fresh

Thanks. I was going to tag you, but I wasn't sure you'd be back so soon.

@ Shellie

Of course I floss...sometimes!

I can always count on you, Miss Details!

katrice said...

On the flossing thing, my dental assistant actually told me a few weeks ago that it's only necessary to really floss thoroughly 3-5 times a week. So you can do better, but don't feel pressured by the need to do it everyday. Said pressure will cause you to quit altogether for long stretches.

~Macarena~ said...

1. I hated showering when I was 14.
8. It's okay, as long as you wouldn't fall apart if they couldn't pay the bill. And assuming you otherwise handle your business.
9. That's between y'all. It's not pathetic. I wouldn't have taken it because it would have come at a price, i.e. my time or some guilt involving my siblings. (But it wouldn't have been offered because, among the girls, I'm the good one. I'm responsible and dependable, so I was expected to work and support myself, freeing up some $ for my parents to continue to support my siblings who also lived w/ them. I started working at 23, and moved out at 27 with quite the nest egg. It's long gone.)
10. Girl, that's trifling!

Flossing: I can't tell you the last time I flossed. On a good week, I brush I teeth once or twice. I have a cavity, but I don't have dental and can't be bothered to call my insurance to ask whether or not I still use their dentists. Since I'm not practiced, when I do floss, and sometimes when I brush, a particular section of my gums bleeds. If that happens to you, you can back off.

Why did you tag me? Admit it, you want to know something specific.

Lex said...

@ Macarena

I'm glad I wasn't the only smelly little girl.

My dad would never ask anything in return for his generosity. My mom, well, she's another story, but she'd never blatantly connect anything she wanted from me to what she'd given me.

I'm gradually forgetting what I complain so much about with them (And what I spent so much money on in therapy). LOL

I don't want to know anything specific, but I knew that whatever you say will be a riot...and will remind me of what I forgot to list on mine.

Andy said...

[APPLAUSE!!]

"tried to master anorexia"... that's gotta be the best quote EVER, Miss Pissy Pants! ;-)

And $120/week allowance? WOW!

katrice said...

Yeah, my allowance maxed out at $15 a week and was cut off the day I started working at the local bakery after school. I was 15.

You're blessed. And don't you forget it!

~Macarena~ said...

Lex, I wasn't smelly, I just hated showering. I can't bear odors. When I smell B.O., I check my armpits. In public. I've thought about doing it like Mary Catherine McGregor from SNL, but I think I'd get my hands caught and, then I'd have to go to the bathroom and wash them.

I wish you had ?s, because I don't know what to say. More importantly, however, I have to be convinced that doing the list wouldn't mean I was taking orders.

Lex said...

@ Macarena

I wasn't smelly either, amazingly.

I check my armpits in public, hell, in the middle of a conversation. And, I can bend close enough to get a general idea about other spots.

Please, please, please, please, please do my tag??????

OK, now it's not an order. I'm begging.

Questions:

most embarassing moment?
a crush you're ashamed of?
a secret wish?
worst secret habit?
something you want to try but haven't gotten the nerve/had the chance?

Let me know if you need more. I hope these get you going.

Gela said...

You know Lex, words fail me. You're too funny. I'm here with my sick self dying with laughter at "And, I can bend close enough to get a general idea about other spots." Ohmigod, I'm dying here! You should have children, you'd be such a fun Mom. I can't imagine how ex allowed you to slip away. Major loss for him!

Aw, Memes, I'm so terrible at them cuz I'm so lazy to actually sit and think about whatever the topic is. Ok. Let me see if I can find 10 secrets.

~Macarena~ said...

Ah, Lex, I'll do it. Perhaps you have touched upon my secret kryptonite!

Thanks for the pleading and the prompts. You know, I like to think the etymology of "embarrass" is "in bare ass." I have already detailed my ~Most Embarrassing Moment~ and arguably my worst but certainly my smelliest secret habit. Enjoy!