Fish Filet, Large Fries, Double-Scoop Cherries Jubilee/Butter Pecan (UPDATE)

That's what I had for dinner tonight in the car on the way home from 2 hours of bellydancing. I am so off the wagon!

What's worse is after the Mickey D's, I actually called my cousin (read: sponsor) to beg her to stop me before I turned into the Baskin-Robbins. She was in the shower. Oh well. Truth be told, I would have just informed her of my impending relapse. That's just the kind of person I am. Sponsors would never work for me. I pretty much do what I want to do. Period. And I'm guaranteed not to do something I may even want to do if somebody tells me to do it. It's sad, but true. It's me.

Like once, during one of my innumberable first weeks of a workout routine, I was swimming laps with ex. He thought he would "encourage" me to push myself a little harder. I think I'd set out to do 20 lengths and as I approached the end of the 19th (on the opposite side of the pool from the locker room), he is standing over my head yelling something ridiculous like, "You can do it! Come on. Just one more. Make it count! Yahdah, yahdah, yahdah." Wrong. Answer. I politely stopped at the wall, looked up at him, pulled off my goggles, got out of the pool and walked around to the other side of the pool to go to the locker room and shower. He was out done and couldn't understand why I didn't just finish one lousy length--my very own self-imposed goal. My answer: "That's precisely why I never did team sports. Can't make me do it!!"

What is that? Stubbornness? Sure. But it's more. Can somebody explain it? I've always been this way and I'll bet I always will be. Yet another reason not to have kids. I might end up with one just like me and be obliged to kill her.

Anyways. I'll be in the gym at 5:30am. Come hell or high water. And, I better not check responses to the post before I go, because somebody's bound to say something to leave me no other choice but to keep my fat a$$ right in my warm bed.

Good night.

Oh, and to add fuel to the fire, I eat all this ice cream despite the fact that I am totally lactose intolerant. (I think I take stubbornness to a new level.)

UPDATE: Well, maybe I was a little ambitious when I made that, "come hell or high water" statement. The were no floods or brimstone...but no gym either. :-( I'll get it together.

I did buy boxes yesterday and plan to knock out hella packin' tonight. That counts for something. Right?