I Really Should Be Sleeping

It's 1am and I am wide awake! This is happening far too often for the last couple of weeks. It's not insomnia. It's not like I'm trying to sleep and can't. I'm just wide awake. I'm a night-owl by nature, but since I need to get up at 5:15 to get to the gym in time for my power lifting class I need to sleep! Yes, that's right, power lifting at 5:30am. I workout, you know! You didn't know?

I think it's hilarious how fat people turn into workout snobs after their second trip to the gym. Suddenly they're (who am I kidding...WE're) experts in all things weight loss and how dare you mere mortals not take better care of yourselves? It's hilarious to watch when it happens in other people, but I know I get gym-cocky myself, especially when I start to see results. I just need someone to periodically tap me on my shoulder and remind me, "um, excuse me, but....you're still fat!"

Workout snob anecdote: I had dinner with a friend tonight and her hair looked great. I actually thought, "Oh she must not workout!" I could make this judgment because there I sat with my reverting roots. Reverting roots? Oh, I'll happily explain for my non-afro readers... Most black women put a lot of time, effort, heat and chemicals into obtaining straight hair. When we reach desired straightness, we fear all things wet, humid, or sweat producing...like the gym. Why? Well, see, the chemical straightening doesn't affect the "new growth" (like brown roots on bleached blondes). Their temporary straightness is only an illusion that is quickly shattered by...well, water. It's always a consideration for me when I start a workout routine. There is some cost to my hair. I'm either going to wear a ponytail, work too hard to do my hair anew daily, or wear my hair "natural". (Oh man, this is shaping up to be a post I never intended. )

I get mixed reviews when I wear my hair in its natural state...well, as close to natural as I get with my relaxer...I'll call it my wash and wear state. (I don't think I know what my natural state looks like anymore. I've relaxed my hair since I was 7!) Anyway, my girlfriends and non-black co-workers seem to like it. My male friends of color....well, put it like this, one day a guy friend saw my hair and was like, "did you go to WORK like that?" Like what??? I had to remind him that I'm black and that my hair doesn't naturally flow over my shoulders. What's up with that?!?

How did I go from gym-cockiness to natural vs. relaxed hair? Sleep deprivation. That's how.

Let's go back to the gym for a minute. I met with my trainer on Monday. She did my baseline measurements, explained my program to me and then told me that I need to be eating 1300-1500 calories per day. I looked at her, nodded and smiled and said, "oh, ok!" Translation: "Are you out of your mind! I don't balance my checkbook, and you think I'm going to sit here and count the calories in the food I eat! How am I supposed to know how many calories are in food. You have got to be kidding me. I refuse to be one of those freaks eating bird-sized portions of boneless chicken breast, contemplating where they have wiggle room in their "points", or whatever the hell they use to measure calories, for the snickers mini-bite later in the day! Crackhead! I'll tell you what. If we see progress, let's say I'm in the calorie range. If not. We'll make adjustments...kinda like me and my checkbook." Yes, I thought every bit of that statement in that moment and I stand by it now. I refuse to diet. Not going to happen. It takes me back to my eating disorder days. That's bad news for me. Too much control. I'll be conscious not to overdo it on sugar, fatty junk foods and salt. I'll make sure to get in reasonable amounts of fresh fruits and veggies and water. And, I'll try to eat more slowly so that my brain has time to tell my mouth we're full. But that's about it! All other progress has to be made in the gym. Because, I work out, you know.

Seriously though. I feel a lot better since I've started moving. My gym has funky summer hours, so I can't get in there at all the times I'd like to, but anything is better than what I'd been doing. Working out reduces cravings for junk food/sweets for me. And so does Vibe, the multi-nutrient supplement I started taking a couple of months ago. I just bought my refill...need to pick that up from you Tania. Yes, Kwesi and Tania are my Vibe pushers. Kwesi really. Contact him for a really good product (and business opportunity, LMAO). I'm sorry. I hate anything with the word "downline", and rightfully so! But I do swear by the product. There you go Kwes. That's all you get from me! Just keep my supply comin' OK?

So, tonight I'm giving...gym cockiness, natural hair, dieting, multi-level marketing and the dangers of sleep deprived blogging a second thought.

Any thoughts?

Nite. Nite.